Managing Holiday Stress with Healthy Boundaries

As the holiday season approaches, it's common to feel the weight of family and personal expectations. The pressure to please everyone and create a picture-perfect holiday experience can leave you stressed beyond belief. 

But as you navigate this holiday season, remember it is vital to prioritize your well-being and joy. One of the best ways to do this is by setting—and maintaining—healthy, considerate boundaries that respect your needs. 

To ensure your peace and well-being, I am going to share my best tips for establishing boundaries during the holiday season.

How Boundaries Help with Stress

The holidays are a minefield of stress: bickering relatives, overspending on this year’s “it” gifts, and a packed schedule that leaves you juggling work, home life, and celebrations. Even for the happiest families, the holidays can feel overwhelming! 

Healthy boundaries are crucial, especially during emotionally charged holiday gatherings. With the right boundaries, you can say “no” with kindness, before you get frustrated or resentful. This includes sharing with others how you want to be treated or what you expect from them. And, boundaries empower you to release anyone or anything that doesn't bring you joy this holiday season.

Boundaries are also an effective form of self-management. Setting limits helps you stay healthy, centered, and balanced. It also creates time for self-care and self-love practices that increase your well-being and maintain your peace.

Reasons for Setting Boundaries

Everyone has their own reasons for setting boundaries around the holidays. 

Before setting boundaries, it’s important to explore your needs. Understanding why you need boundaries will help you set effective boundaries to protect your needs during the holidays. 

For me, healthy boundaries around my mental energy, activities, and relationships free me to be happy, healthy, and secure. Here are some of my personal reasons for setting boundaries, both in life and during the holiday season.

• Boundaries clearly define who I am and help others understand who I am as well. Knowing myself and being secure in who I am is essential to healthy relationships—with myself and others.
• Boundaries help others understand how I expect to be treated, They help others show respect toward me, and help me show respect toward others.
• Boundaries help me not feel taken advantage of.
• Boundaries keep me from feeling depleted. 

Setting boundaries can help you manage holiday stress by decreasing conflicts, heading off potential misunderstandings, and protecting your emotional well-being.

Getting Comfortable with Boundaries

If you aren’t comfortable setting boundaries, you’re not alone! People avoid setting boundaries for many reasons, but fear is one of the biggest reasons. 

Here are some common fears about setting boundaries. 

• Fear of angering people
• Fear of disappointing others
• Fear of being seen as difficult or selfish
• Fear of being mean
• Fear of ruining relationships

Please don’t let these fears stop you from setting boundaries that protect your inner peace and emotional well-being! Without setting boundaries all of the scenarios above can happen as well. But by setting boundaries, you can let others know that their behavior is not okay and that you will be protecting your peace.

3 Steps for Setting Boundaries

Creating a magical, stress-free holiday season is an intentional process, requiring careful thought and planning. If you want time and energy to do things you enjoy, you’ll have to set some boundaries, or you risk overextending yourself, physically and emotionally. 

Ready to set healthy, yet kind, boundaries that will help you manage holiday stress? It just takes these 3 steps 

1. Understand Which Boundaries You Need

Each of us is a highly complex being, with individual needs. And our boundaries are just as unique as we are. What makes you feel calm and safe during the holiday season might not be enough for someone else—or it may be too much for them. 

There are several different types of boundaries you might want to consider. As you read these, take note. Is there any area of your life where you’re feeling powerless or depleted? That’s where you may need to set a boundary. 

• Physical Boundaries: These boundaries protect your physical needs and space. For example, you might not want people smoking in your home, or you may prefer overnight guests be limited to weekends only.
• Emotional Boundaries: With these boundaries, you’re protecting your thoughts and feelings. You might say things such as, “I don’t feel comfortable with this conversation.” You can also refuse to answer questions that feel inappropriate or too personal.
• Spiritual Boundaries: You have the right to celebrate the holidays with the traditions and rituals you choose. You don’t need anyone’s approval to do so.
• Financial Boundaries: Overspending during the holidays can be a huge source of stress. It’s okay to turn down white elephant exchanges, to wear the same outfit to multiple celebrations, and to set money limits around gift-giving.
• Time Boundaries: You don’t have to accept every invitation. If you try to make time for everything, you won’t have time for anything. Remember: it’s okay to say “no,” even during the holidays.

2. Decide On Your Boundaries

Your boundaries should clearly define how you expect to be treated, by yourself and others. But before you set boundaries it is important to know what you truly want from an experience—in this case, the holiday season. 

Here are some great things to ask yourself while preparing to set boundaries with yourself, friends, and family.

• What holiday traditions are important to you?
• What gives you the most joy during the holiday season?
• What do you find to be the most challenging during the holidays?
• Are you saying yes to invitations and planning events out of obligation or desire?
• What would make you more excited about the holidays?

Once you have done some soul-searching around these questions, you can determine what boundaries feel good for you. For example, if I feel stressed during the holidays, I make time for myself and remember to breathe. If I begin feeling irritated, I delegate responsibilities to others and take some time to decompress. 

Here are some holiday boundaries to consider. 

• Don't overfill your schedule.
• Say yes because you want to, not out of obligation.
• Stick to your holiday budget.
• Clearly communicate your needs and expectations.
• Don't totally abandon your normal routine.
• Make time for self-care (exercise, meditation, hobbies).

Your boundaries do not have to make sense to other people; you know what's best for you and you alone should decide how you want your life—and holidays—to be. 

If setting boundaries makes you uncomfortable, remember: you are deserving and worthy of a holiday season that brings you joy and peace. Change the dynamics of how you approach the season this year with boundaries and self-care and you will see a much different outcome.

3. Communicate Your Holiday Boundaries

When it comes to maintaining a healthy self and healthy relationships, setting boundaries with kindness and respect is key. After all, your boundaries are for stress management. 
Here are 6 ways you can set boundaries with care.

1. Focus on your feelings and needs.
2. Be direct.
3. Be specific.
4. Use a neutral tone of voice.
5. Choose an appropriate time to discuss boundaries.
6. Consider the other person's needs as well.

Once you’ve communicated your boundaries kindly but firmly, resist the temptation to continue discussing them. 

Above all, remember, just because others may show resistance to your boundaries doesn't mean you’re doing something wrong. Be open to listening to their reactions. At the same, know that you don't need to change your boundaries or prioritize their needs instead of your own. Don’t add to your stress by arguing over them with reluctant, defensive, or passive-aggressive loved ones. 

It may take some adjustment time, especially if this is your first time setting boundaries. But in the end, the people who truly care about you will make the effort to understand and respect your boundaries.

Managing Holiday Stress with Self-Care

Self-care is an important part of emotional well–being at any time of year, but especially during the holiday season when there are so many additional demands on your time and energy. 

Boundaries are an essential form of self-care. But there are other forms of self-care that can support you and help reduce your stress.

Affirmations are a powerful, inspiring reminder that you’re on the right track—that your boundaries matter because you matter. By practicing affirmations regularly, you can create a new mindset, replacing fear, uncertainty, and stress with peace, positivity, and confidence. 

You can practice these affirmations by repeating them aloud, writing them down, or simply reading them to yourself. 

• I am calm and in charge.
• I radiate peace and positivity.
• I love myself enough to set boundaries.
• I deserve to protect my time, space, and boundaries.
• I  am allowed to prioritize my needs. 

Gratitude is another powerful self-care practice that can support your well-being during the busy holiday season. In fact, gratitude is one of the most important practices to turn your thoughts from stress to peace.

Expressing gratitude leads to less stress, greater feelings of connectedness, and deeper spirituality. There are so many things to be grateful for during the holiday season—including some of the things that bring you stress! Be thankful for friends, family, and the time you’re able to spend giving to yourself and others. Gratitude is the elixir of life!

Reach out to me anytime at extension 4085. 

Happy Holidays! Skye